I was working late last night when I received this text from my girlfriend: 'Pete,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone. Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative.' And as I eagerly rushed home, I couldn't help but wonder... What the hell does 'ternative' mean? Thought for the day: Spiderman - just anothe...

Learn to swear with a scots accent and make a tune of it!
For those of you that like Limmy this is a must!

http://www.limmy.com/playthings/xylophone/

Enjoy!!

Brilliance!

No need to worry Slartibartfast, the story was about me!
You may no longer feel self-conscious about the size of your todger!

No worries mate. I know now what the boundaries are and wont over step them again!
Sorry if I caused any offence.

Before anyone calls me racist, I was told this joke by my Malawian friend :-) I was stood at the urinal when a black guy stood next to me. I turned to him and said, TEXT REMOVED BY EXIBIT He looked at me, obviously hurt, and said, "Why? I'm a human being just like you. I have a family, I have a...

So with my previous HDD breaking a few weeks ago, I was left without my beloved user .cfg. Alas, I've made a new one and incorporated these settings into it. After playing about with it and shooting folk , I quite like it. If anyone else were to want it then feel free to give me a shout and I'll get...